the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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