Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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