I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize