woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
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Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
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I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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