Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
