i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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