No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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