Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
