i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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