I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
