My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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