Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
