Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This baby is an asshole
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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