**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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