problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
