UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
