Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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