her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
