I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
