One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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