Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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