And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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