Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize