My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
