i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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