Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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