My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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