We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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