Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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