it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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