Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize