How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
