cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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