i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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