The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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