So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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