hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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