Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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