He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
