Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
