Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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