im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
