You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
