shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
