my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize