so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
