I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There r osticjed everywhere
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
