shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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