you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
