my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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