dude i'm inner monologue high
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
