Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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