Yo dont text me then not text me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How external is "for external use only"?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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