So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
