I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
