Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize