He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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