i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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