haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
