He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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