and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Still dying that you shit outside
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
