My nipple is on Facebook.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
