If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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