my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
