I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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