Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
