Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
