I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
