Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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